Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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