my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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