She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
