dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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