Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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