I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
