yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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