he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
