so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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