Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
