a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
That's when you crack a 10am beer
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize