And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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