In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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