why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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