goodnight i made you a song goodbye
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
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It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
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I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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