That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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