Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
being pregnant is like rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize