it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
