But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
We're facebook friends in real life
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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