Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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