Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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