Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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