Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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