that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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