My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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