I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize