i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
