No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
