I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
