I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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