We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You need a sexual gate keeper
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
