halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
