you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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