She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize