Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
