shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
