Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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