she woke up with a sticky ear
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
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