I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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