he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he shaved USA in his pubs
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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