Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize