She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He better not be in your backpack
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
