Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Come share oat with me in your robe
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
