you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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