Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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