Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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