he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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