I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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