dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
