I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
