I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
