I feel like abortions should bother me more
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
