Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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