i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
How does it feel to date your dad?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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