I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
