Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
