I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
