I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
