Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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