How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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