so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
